Sorry

There is a breach between us. One that I caused. One that I hope he will forgive. He feels betrayed and I cannot blame him. He trusted me and I lied. I offered no excuse for my behavior because there is no excuse for lying. I let the silence stand too long so he filled in the blanks with the counsel of his tribe who are fiercely protective of him. I came with the best of intentions but knowing that things would not be the same. Pain changes men. I hadn’t expected to find him so hardened. He hadn’t expected to find me so weak. I’m sure he was disappointed. I on the other hand, understand human frailty and accept it as a condition of being. We all go through seasons. I wanted to stay because he made me feel safe and I needed his structure. I had to leave to salvage what was left because I longed for his friendship. I could never see clearly in the moment what was so obvious in retrospect. He was a man of action; I, on the other hand, needed to hear it.